The Great Indian Tamasha

Before you start reading this post, there are two things you should keep in mind-

ONE- I don’t need you telling me this is a worldwide issue. I am well aware of that fact. Note that the topic is titled “The Great INDIAN Tamasha”, because due to reasons known only to God, I am an Indian. This topic is related to the entire South East Asia (tragically).

TWO- If you’re the kind of person who gets easily offended on the internet, I’m going to urge you to grab a chair and open a new tab, because you’re probably not going to like what you read. Don’t expect me to respond to your hate comments, because I don’t have the time or the energy to deal with people who can’t respect other’s opinions. On that note, I have nothing against you, reader. This is simply me stating what I believe. And I don’t expect your agreement, no more than your change.

So shall we begin?

Some of you must have figured out the topic of discussion by now. Some of you are still wondering what this shit is all about. So with no further ado, let’s jump right to it, the thing I dread the most- WEDDINGS.

Let’s face it. Indian weddings ARE a tamasha, for lack of better word- the expenditure, the stress that comes along with it, the pre-year preparations and my personal favourite, the people.

Log kya kahenge?

Now. I’m going to break my rant into two parts- the logical rant and the religious one.

Let’s proceed to my logical rant.


So.

For people like me, weddings are a headache- whether somebody else’s or my own. The entire process of deciding on the joda, the jewellery that’s supposed to go with it, and the endless cribbing over nothing working out.

The joda– The wedding attire. Something you’re going to wear for a couple of hours and never wear it again. You’re willing to spend thousands on it, but you have a problem making a donation or giving a beggar 10 rupees.

In my case, me being the sort of person who wants a low key wedding (insha’Allah) or should I say, IF my society lets me, I don’t want to wear a ridiculously pricey outfit. But people have called me crazy for even presenting the idea to them. Why? Because log kya kahenge?

Honestly, I don’t get it. People want me to be uncomfortable in my wedding attire just because it pleases THEIR eyes? What. Even.

I believe that in weddings you should invite the kind of people who will be happy even if you serve them only dates and water. Because these people are there to be a part of your happiness. These people are genuine. These people don’t care if they don’t get to eats kebabs or if the wedding is not flashy. Sadly, these are also the people who, in today’s era, avoid going to too many weddings because of what they have become- a money spending venture.

I have seen people who attend weddings because the host was gracious enough to invite them, and while they fill themselves with biryani, nihari and kebabs, they stand at a distance and say, dulhan kaisi lag rahi hai, taubah!

Ungrateful bastards.

Upon discussion of these issues and the unnecessary rasmein that happen, I was given the exact same answer everybody else gives- Aray shaadi hai. Logon ka bhi dekhna padta hai.
And they’re right, shaadi toh hai, but it’s a not a movie that you MUST please the audience.

Some people state tradition as the answer, which is stupid to begin with.
Sati was a tradition too, remember?


On to the religious rant-

People will create chaos if you go for, what we call, a LOVE marriage. Why? Because religion.
To combat this reason, let me remind you that we are allowed to choose our own spouses.

Now when people like me want a simple, low key affair, I’m rebuked because log kya kahenge?
Where’s your deen now?

I’ve come to understand that these days, religion is okay as long as you’re commenting on somebody else. When it comes upon yourself, you go with “tradition”. Deny it all you want, it’s a fact.

Deen bas doosron ke gharon mein acchi lagti hai.

I don’t understand what the hypocrisy is about.

I’ve also been told because you need to please people (guests at your OWN wedding by doing what THEY like smh) because, God forbid, you might need their help in the future. What is HE for, then? Where’s your belief?

Doing something extreme, although religiously correct, requires a LOT of effort and faces a LOT of negativity. What course of deen was ever easy? Why do we study about our religions, if not to learn from them and apply them in our lives.

I’m not the most Muslim person you’ll meet, but if there is something that I want to do which is Islamically correct, why should I suffer? Why should I be insulted? What’s the point of preaching deen if you don’t want to practice it?

Allah swt has stated-
Blessed is the marriage with the least expenses.

Ofcourse to which I’ve been told, “If you have money, spend it.”
Yes. I WILL spend it.
By feeding the hungry.
By giving it to the poor.
By doing sadaqah.

NOT by inviting hordes of unfamiliar faces who come there for the food and the photographs.

To the people who want to celebrate their wedding in a grand way, this is not a judgmental post for you. By Allah, I hope your weddings are successes and so are your marriages insha’Allah.

But for those of us who don’t want to follow the norms of narrow minded society, please let us enjoy our weddings. If we’re lucky, we’ll have to get married only once insha’Allah and let that one day be the best day of our lives. Let us not be uncomfortable and agitated on the one day that we have the right to call entirely ours. Let us remember that day rather than want to destroy every trace of it. Let us be happy.

Thankyou.

And Good night.

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Is That Right?

Moody.
Hostile.
Sensitive.
Depressive.
Rebel.

These are some of the various words people have used to “describe” me. At some point in time, I probably depicted my personality with these adjectives too.

people

But the thing is, why? WHY do people choose the grouping of certain letters to brand someone? Moreover, do they know why people are the way they are?

I mean, that’s the question, isn’t it- WHY?

I’ve seen good humans and I’ve seen bad. Let me point this out to you, I don’t mean the good people who are super friendly, with their friendships lasting only till the other person is in line of sight. I mean the good people who are often mistaken to be arrogant prudes because of the way they may/may not rub off in public.

If there’s something that I’ve learned in 24 years of my life, it’s to NEVER EVER take the opinion of a third person when it comes to somebody you don’t know. Because chances are, you’ll judge them wrong.

Everybody in their life goes through events, phases and occurrences that alter their behaviours in public and private. Incidences happen which force them to change and see the world differently. Cheerful, happy people can be driven to depression and vice versa.

It is true though, the people with the most interesting stories are more often than not, the ones who are shunned by everybody around them.

Our generation lacks compassion. Some of you will *obviously* disagree because you refuse to look outside your bubble of narcissism and fantasy- but the stone cold fact is such.

Going back to where I started this charade, we need to learn to open our minds- not only in theory and on social media, but in reality too. And of course, Facebook has taught us all that everybody is fighting their own personal battles.

So before we write somebody off, let us stop and think. Question. Wonder. Ask. Know.

And maybe, just maybe, we’ll understand.