Paris

According to the media, there are only two types of people.

1- Muslim gunmen/bombers
2- “Crazy” people

And only one of them are considered terrorists.

#PrayForParis
#PrayForTheWorld

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As A Matter Of Fact

Imagine a girl.

Now imagine a group of guys.

Imagine the girl passing by these guys.

I don’t need to tell you the next situation, do I?

A while passes by, and the girl and one of the guys in the group are dating.

Fate happens and they break up.

Now. Another guy from the same group approaches the girl to console her, to ‘talk it out’. He charms her, and tells the girl that he had ‘liked’ her since day 1. After getting over her initial jhatka, the girl and the second guy start going out.

The second guy goes back to his circle and starts telling his friends about how he managed to patao the girl. And they all laugh about it, and talk about how the girl lacks moral character. And ofcourse, the group still has the first guy in it cuz ‘bros before hoes’, right?

And but of course, they discuss about how another guy from the group will date her once the second one dumps her.

And SHE’S the one without character? Absolutely.

Character. I hate this word.

Despise.

Loathe.

Abhor.

In our extremely ‘modern’ and ‘culturally rich’ society, we are so quick to judge a person’s character without knowing them inside out. And even if we do, we feel that we have a birth right to taint a person’s soul with crude remarks and incessant gossip.

Our values have been moderated so much that a person’s respect is a joke to us.

Agar hamaari izzat nahin hai toh dusron ki kyun rahe?

People go to universities and colleges to observe, categorize and brand other people. And it is a universal subject- something we never get tired of.

But yeah, a course book or a class totally puts us to sleep, until someone says, uske bare mein pata chala?

WHY do we pride ourselves on being so culturally diverse when we can’t even stand a person who isn’t from the same geographical location as we are? When we look down upon somebody who might be financially weaker than us? When we’re not of the same gender?

WHY is it that when two people break up, the female is the immoral victim and the dude is the one that gets away with it? And let me add the scenario where the guy is fooling around with multiple chicks, it is still that poor chick who is blamed for everything. So much that other girls are asked to refrain from becoming friends with her because wo sahi ladki nahin hai.

Our generation is full of guys who LOVE to gossip and tell tales, sometimes even more than women. WAY WAYYY MORE. They’ll pick a chick from their college or mohalla and gang up against her existence. And then they talk about respect. Fuck-off.

Exactly how much time do you have in your life?

Let me rephrase that-

Exactly how much WORTHLESS time do you have in your life? Apparently, all the time in the world.

And then you’ll run around to fix your attendances, and your grades and your rapidly descending and empty life through jugaad.

Good going, mate. You da real MVP.

0DEEtgkk

I don’t relate to feminism too much because these days, people take it as male-bashing and/or for females to have their clothing/sexual rights.

But I believe we NEED feminism.

Why?

For what I explained above.

For a woman to not have her dignity or her respect taken to the circus.

For a woman to be able to make her mistakes and learn from them. Because that’s what they are- mistakes.

For a woman to be able to walk into her place of education or work without avoiding eye contact with people because of what is being said about her.

For dudes to start respecting women, because clearly, that isn’t the case anymore.


In case you’ve noticed, I haven’t used the term “man” anywhere for the male sex.

Because real men don’t behave erratically.

Because real men don’t indulge in crazy talk.

Because real men respect women.

Life, Basically

When you’ve sat by yourself for a while, you start to contemplate your life- mainly the people in.

The good, the bad, the rights, the wrongs – all of it come back to you. And you’re sucked into thoughts, into a limbo of memories.

The people who held you, the people who hurt you, the ones that got away and the ones who stood their ground. And you can’t help yourself but drown in the realizations- that people leave for the better, that you hurt so that you can become stronger, that life has a funny way of falling into place.

At a certain point in our lives, where we feel like we’ve given everything we had, that we’ve reached our peaks, life puts us in situations where we exceed our own expectations, where we come out fiercer, better than before.

Do you know why they say that everything happens for a reason?

Because they do.

The Great Indian Tamasha

Before you start reading this post, there are two things you should keep in mind-

ONE- I don’t need you telling me this is a worldwide issue. I am well aware of that fact. Note that the topic is titled “The Great INDIAN Tamasha”, because due to reasons known only to God, I am an Indian. This topic is related to the entire South East Asia (tragically).

TWO- If you’re the kind of person who gets easily offended on the internet, I’m going to urge you to grab a chair and open a new tab, because you’re probably not going to like what you read. Don’t expect me to respond to your hate comments, because I don’t have the time or the energy to deal with people who can’t respect other’s opinions. On that note, I have nothing against you, reader. This is simply me stating what I believe. And I don’t expect your agreement, no more than your change.

So shall we begin?

Some of you must have figured out the topic of discussion by now. Some of you are still wondering what this shit is all about. So with no further ado, let’s jump right to it, the thing I dread the most- WEDDINGS.

Let’s face it. Indian weddings ARE a tamasha, for lack of better word- the expenditure, the stress that comes along with it, the pre-year preparations and my personal favourite, the people.

Log kya kahenge?

Now. I’m going to break my rant into two parts- the logical rant and the religious one.

Let’s proceed to my logical rant.


So.

For people like me, weddings are a headache- whether somebody else’s or my own. The entire process of deciding on the joda, the jewellery that’s supposed to go with it, and the endless cribbing over nothing working out.

The joda– The wedding attire. Something you’re going to wear for a couple of hours and never wear it again. You’re willing to spend thousands on it, but you have a problem making a donation or giving a beggar 10 rupees.

In my case, me being the sort of person who wants a low key wedding (insha’Allah) or should I say, IF my society lets me, I don’t want to wear a ridiculously pricey outfit. But people have called me crazy for even presenting the idea to them. Why? Because log kya kahenge?

Honestly, I don’t get it. People want me to be uncomfortable in my wedding attire just because it pleases THEIR eyes? What. Even.

I believe that in weddings you should invite the kind of people who will be happy even if you serve them only dates and water. Because these people are there to be a part of your happiness. These people are genuine. These people don’t care if they don’t get to eats kebabs or if the wedding is not flashy. Sadly, these are also the people who, in today’s era, avoid going to too many weddings because of what they have become- a money spending venture.

I have seen people who attend weddings because the host was gracious enough to invite them, and while they fill themselves with biryani, nihari and kebabs, they stand at a distance and say, dulhan kaisi lag rahi hai, taubah!

Ungrateful bastards.

Upon discussion of these issues and the unnecessary rasmein that happen, I was given the exact same answer everybody else gives- Aray shaadi hai. Logon ka bhi dekhna padta hai.
And they’re right, shaadi toh hai, but it’s a not a movie that you MUST please the audience.

Some people state tradition as the answer, which is stupid to begin with.
Sati was a tradition too, remember?


On to the religious rant-

People will create chaos if you go for, what we call, a LOVE marriage. Why? Because religion.
To combat this reason, let me remind you that we are allowed to choose our own spouses.

Now when people like me want a simple, low key affair, I’m rebuked because log kya kahenge?
Where’s your deen now?

I’ve come to understand that these days, religion is okay as long as you’re commenting on somebody else. When it comes upon yourself, you go with “tradition”. Deny it all you want, it’s a fact.

Deen bas doosron ke gharon mein acchi lagti hai.

I don’t understand what the hypocrisy is about.

I’ve also been told because you need to please people (guests at your OWN wedding by doing what THEY like smh) because, God forbid, you might need their help in the future. What is HE for, then? Where’s your belief?

Doing something extreme, although religiously correct, requires a LOT of effort and faces a LOT of negativity. What course of deen was ever easy? Why do we study about our religions, if not to learn from them and apply them in our lives.

I’m not the most Muslim person you’ll meet, but if there is something that I want to do which is Islamically correct, why should I suffer? Why should I be insulted? What’s the point of preaching deen if you don’t want to practice it?

Allah swt has stated-
Blessed is the marriage with the least expenses.

Ofcourse to which I’ve been told, “If you have money, spend it.”
Yes. I WILL spend it.
By feeding the hungry.
By giving it to the poor.
By doing sadaqah.

NOT by inviting hordes of unfamiliar faces who come there for the food and the photographs.

To the people who want to celebrate their wedding in a grand way, this is not a judgmental post for you. By Allah, I hope your weddings are successes and so are your marriages insha’Allah.

But for those of us who don’t want to follow the norms of narrow minded society, please let us enjoy our weddings. If we’re lucky, we’ll have to get married only once insha’Allah and let that one day be the best day of our lives. Let us not be uncomfortable and agitated on the one day that we have the right to call entirely ours. Let us remember that day rather than want to destroy every trace of it. Let us be happy.

Thankyou.

And Good night.

Is That Right?

Moody.
Hostile.
Sensitive.
Depressive.
Rebel.

These are some of the various words people have used to “describe” me. At some point in time, I probably depicted my personality with these adjectives too.

people

But the thing is, why? WHY do people choose the grouping of certain letters to brand someone? Moreover, do they know why people are the way they are?

I mean, that’s the question, isn’t it- WHY?

I’ve seen good humans and I’ve seen bad. Let me point this out to you, I don’t mean the good people who are super friendly, with their friendships lasting only till the other person is in line of sight. I mean the good people who are often mistaken to be arrogant prudes because of the way they may/may not rub off in public.

If there’s something that I’ve learned in 24 years of my life, it’s to NEVER EVER take the opinion of a third person when it comes to somebody you don’t know. Because chances are, you’ll judge them wrong.

Everybody in their life goes through events, phases and occurrences that alter their behaviours in public and private. Incidences happen which force them to change and see the world differently. Cheerful, happy people can be driven to depression and vice versa.

It is true though, the people with the most interesting stories are more often than not, the ones who are shunned by everybody around them.

Our generation lacks compassion. Some of you will *obviously* disagree because you refuse to look outside your bubble of narcissism and fantasy- but the stone cold fact is such.

Going back to where I started this charade, we need to learn to open our minds- not only in theory and on social media, but in reality too. And of course, Facebook has taught us all that everybody is fighting their own personal battles.

So before we write somebody off, let us stop and think. Question. Wonder. Ask. Know.

And maybe, just maybe, we’ll understand.

30th May 2014

I was in pain.

I knew it was our last day together, for at-least until the next year. And all of my insides hurt. I had spent the most wonderful 5 months with this man, and realizing that he won’t be by my side for the next 365 days was too much to comprehend.

When he hugged me goodbye, I didn’t let go. I couldn’t. I kept on running my hands on his back, trying to grasp the physicality of this moment. We had gotten so close in the last couple of months, and all of it was going to disappear, with him. I just wished I could’ve done something to stop him from leaving.

But I knew I couldn’t.

I knew this was the moment I HAD to experience.

But the moment would come so fast, who knew?

I would let go, and hug again.

And again.

And again.

I was obviously crying. The pain was too much. My soul wrenched. My heart ached. I didn’t want this.

After so long, I knew what happiness was. And I wanted to hold on to it as hard as I could.

A part of me felt if I let go, I’d lose it all.

435 days later. And with him still not next to me, I understand that I was wrong.

I’m still waiting. And I’m still happy.