With every inch of her quivering fibre,

She fought back her tears.

Sorrow consumed her from the inside,

Her soul clenched with fears.

 

But through the night and day,

By rain, wind or shine,

The upward curve across her face

Made others’ days divine.

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Little Girl

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The muscles in my back contracted.

My breath went shallow.

My chest felt numb.

And my heart turned hollow.

All the words I heard,

Were cold as ice.

I didn’t trust my ears.

Was I paying the price?

Of being patient and staying loyal.

I suffered and stayed silent.

Day and night, like clockwork

The routine felt violent.

Despite all of it,

I was called a fool

My feelings were discarded

Like a pathetic little tool.

I didn’t feel sad, I couldn’t.

I wasn’t angry, just lost.

For two whole years,

Was this the cost?

No importance, no appreciation.

Absolutely nothing to smile.

Lost a whole year for love,

Was I being juvenile?

So close, and yet so far.

The distance only increased.

We were further apart.

The emotions almost deceased.

The finish line was in sight,

But the comfort was nowhere near.

Time to end the race?

I wondered, oh dear.

12.07 – 10.04.16

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I am sick and tired of waiting.

Waiting for people to understand.

Waiting for friends to get back to me.

Waiting for a moment.

Waiting for time to pass.

Waiting for acknowledgement.

Waiting for a sign.

Waiting for the phone to ring.

Waiting for acceptance.

For perseverance.

For fate.

And I fear, that soon, I will run out of patience. And yet, I will hold all the blame.

2.15 am

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Each night I lie awake
Struggling to fall asleep
To physical pains, I am immune
‘Tis the struggle of time, that keeps me up.

Extended indefinitely
With no clear sign
And nothing in sight
How long do I wait?

My impatience cracks through my facade
I try harder to not budge
Thoughts force their way to my conscious
Shattering the translucency of my being

How much longer do I stand here?
How much do I bear?
How far do I have to tread on this path?
How much should I pretend?

My patience wears thin
Exposing my fault lines
Weakening their immune
Dropping the curtains.

How long do I wait?

Denial

That one particularly frosty winter night,

While she was sitting in the cold, phone pressed to her ear,

The words that came over the other line,

Were supremely bitter, even for her.

Sure. She had heard literally worse before.

But nothing like this.

Only because she chose to speak her mind.

Only because she didn’t want to be away any longer.

Biting her tongue, and swallowing hard,

She kept quite, not wanting to sound hurt.

Or weak.

It’s a different thing, entirely.

You don’t expect to feel this way, you know?

Makes your insides churn- the hurt.

The psychological wounds morph into physical.

They hurt her heart. Her mind, more so.

In under sixty seconds, the distance, only geographical before,

Progressed to an emotional one.

What was only a matter of time,

Became a question mark for the future.