Of Futures and Friendships

Lately I’ve been having identity issues, which are mainly being caused by two reasons:

A. NO idea of what I’m going to be doing in the future.
B. Unsurety of the people in my life.

The first, I can try to handle. In a phase where most people around me know what their next step is, I don’t have the slightest idea of my answer to the question, “What next?” Sure, I don’t want to practice dentistry and want to do something on the lines of what I’m doing right now- Write, but I don’t know how to work for it. But I guess I’ll figure it out. Eventually. I hope.

Coming on to people, talk about friends. Talk about family. Talk about having people in your life who you can call at 3 am because you’re having a meltdown. About people whose places you can crash at when you’re visiting their city. Talk about people who cheer you on in your life, even if it’s when you’re crushing on a super cute guy or chasing after him on the street. About people who bitch about the people you hate even though they haven’t met. About people who are YOUR people.

All through school, college and work life, we meet people, we make friends, make enemies, make memories. But as time passes, you realise the people you called your “friends”, the people you sat in groups with and fooled around with were never really your friends. They were just people in your life who you spent time with in order to avoid being alone and somehow believed they were faithful to the sacred vows of friendship.

It doesn’t matter if you talk twice a year, on each other’s birthdays or every now and then. Your true friends will always be around to pat you on your back or slap you in your face. They will always be there when you need them. Your conversations will always begin with, “bitch where have you been?” followed by numerous other gaalis, but your sisterhood will always be pure.

And just last night, after my usual ritual of pre-bed facebook and Instagram, I felt so fucking low. Cuz I fathomed how alone I really was, atleast in my city, and I broke down, tears and all. Having nobody you could physically confront is like a jab in the side. But I knew who I could talk to. We’re miles away, but we never miss a single gossip thread, or an opportunity for a bitch fest. And similarly, I have a few more, all in different cities, but all the same- all soul sisters.


I know which of the strangers out there are my people.
And although it hurts that they’re not close by, I have a warmth that wherever they are, they’re mine.


This One’s For The AMU’ites

Let me make this perfectly clear- I am NOT a political news writer, nor do I write about current news events. But owing to the present scenario in the Aligarh Muslim University, I was forced to tell you EXACTLY how I feel. Mind you, I am not pro-nationalism or pro-love for the university. I am simply a neutral spectator publishing their feelings.

Let me start off with what caused the uproar in our university campus (yes, I’m a student of AMU too). Apparent reports by the media which, thanks to their natural talent of distorting words and the truth, tagged our university as “anti-feminist” and “oppressive towards women” led to resentful feelings by the students who took up the approach of an “anti-media” or peaceful protest.
I was trying to avoid talking about this subject because I didn’t know how people would respond, but seeing certain images posted on facebook of the protest sparked the fire in me.

On my way home from college, I noticed a slow, but rather progressive buildup of public at the Bab-e-Syed gate, which is also the main entrance to our university. The blockade caused me to get stuck in traffic, even if for a little while and but obvious, annoyed me to the core. Later, I find out that the very obvious gathering was the initiation of a “peaceful” protest by the students of the University, mainly the women, led by nobody else but the “power to the people”- the Student’s Union.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a very vocal person and I encourage people to be vocal about how they feel, but let’s get some facts right first.
A. I’ve been a part of this University for almost 8 years now, and you, reader and I are both aware of the actual situation of the Maulana Azad Library in our campus.
B. We know that us women are given equal, sometimes even more opportunities to excel in our fields and are encouraged in our education.
C. We also know that no amount of defamation trial will actually affect our University if we show people the truth.

So here’s a situation-
When you screw something up, and your parents start yelling at you and cursing you and being loud with you, do you actually listen to them? You obviously don’t.
But when they sit you down and talk calmly and explain the consequences of your actions, what happens? You break down, and end up apologizing and learning something out of it.
The exact same thing works here. When you talk about having a peaceful protest, do you know what people who aren’t in the cause with you hear? PROTEST. That is ALL that they make sense of. The impression that you’re giving them is that we’re all adrenaline fueled people who are blindsided by their love for the University.

Yes, you do love your university and you despise the media for trying to defame the prestigious institution. But have you heard the saying, “You can either fight fire with water, or fire with fire.”
I say fight fire with fire, but not literal fire.
Everybody knows how fast things spread on the internet, how quickly they go ‘viral’. This is not only for the pro-writers but for you and I, for everybody who can express exactly how they feel. When you love somebody and you want to tell it to them, what do you do? The poets write a poem, we common folk simply pick up our phones and text/call the person and tell them we love them.

The media isn’t sitting in front of your university with banners and hoardings and telling you what you should think. They’re using their words.
“The pen is mightier than the sword”, and in today’s world, posts on the internet are. Pick up your phones, open your laptops, login to your facebook, or your wordpress and talk about the truth! TELL people what the actual situation is. If every one out of ten people posted something on a public forum, imagine how many people would read it and clear their heads.
Right now, for them, we’re women who hit the streets because our University was shed with false allegations. You’re a woman- be sophisticated, be an actual lady! Use your words, fuel them with your emotions- WRITE! POST! TALK! SPREAD!

And trust me, that is exactly how you will make a difference. Sitting under the hot sun, chanting while blocking the road causing trouble to other people is not going to help you in your cause. Use the exact same tools the media does. Use the social network. And I promise I’ll back you up. I promise you, we’ll beat them.

Ye mera chaman, hai mera chaman,
main apne chaman ka bulbul hun